Wielding Your Own Power

IMG_1268At some point in our lives a shift occurs and we realize that searching for someone to rescue us from our pain, our misery and everything else bleak, bad or wrong we encounter just can no longer occur.  In those moments we realize that no one is going to come to save us, we may despair a little, be envious in our thoughts recalling how it seemed that it has happened for everyone else we know but us and we may dive headlong into depression, anxiety, a bottle, drugs or some other form of escape only to realize eventually that even there…there is no escape.  If we could but relax just a moment instead, breathe in deeply the beauty, joy and love all around us all of the time, we may finally come to the conclusion that it is we who must stand up in our own light and rescue ourselves.  Primarily, we are really victims of only one hideous and heinous thing…our thoughts…our assumptions and the resulting feelings from those things.  If we could but right our thoughts and allow the shift to fully occur…that shift that has been trying to get to us from the moment we seemingly lost our connection to Source shortly after our arrival here, we may discover some really truly amazing things such as:

1.  We can save ourselves;

2.  We have more than enough love within us to fill even the darkest, most painful and frighteningly lonely places within us;

3.  We need no other soul to generate happiness on our behalf;

4.  We need blame no soul for the state of our being but us;

5.  We need not hold harmful and unloving thoughts of ourselves regardless of the horrible mistakes we might think we have made; and

6.  We can stand up in any second at any part of our lives and take accountability for our very next steps and thoughts no matter where we are and regardless of how we may have gotten there.

It doesn’t really matter what happened to us in our lives.  We can lay out our thoughts for miles in blame, shame, denial, vengeance, anger and guilt or we can decide to leave that all behind and allow the transformation, which is truly only a return to our true selves to naturally and so very beautifully occur.  We have that much power within us and need only the faith and confidence enough in ourselves to stand up and take the next steps and breaths and just live more authentically and gently with our thoughts of ourselves.  It hurts when someone pushes us down.  I do not dispute that.  But here’s the thing.  You can stay on the ground and complain about the bumps and bruises and who caused it, we can begrudge the fact we now must expend energy unnecessarily to stand back up again or we can completely disregard the fact we were pushed down and the reasons why someone may have pushed us down.  We can just stand up and figure out which direction we’d like to start walking free of the blame, free of victim thinking, free of poisonous and toxic anger at others, self-belittling thoughts and muster the courage to know that no matter what, we can stand in our own light even if there are those who would seemingly prefer to stand in front of the sun casting shadows on our path.

Our thoughts, our lives and our feelings about ourselves need never be dependent upon the actions of others, the words of others or the deeds of others.  Standing in your own light means that you know who you are, you know how you are and no matter what comes before you…you will rely on your own love, light and knowledge to guide you through life on your own merits.  You will encounter those along the way blinded by the mistaken thoughts or beliefs that they can make themselves better only to the extent they can take others out or down.  Neither feel sorry for nor engage in battle with such individuals.  They doom themselves for a time until they too learn to stand within their own light and know that they can choose to do this at any time and it really isn’t your job to school them any way.  The reality is that your efforts to educate them will be wholly wasted until they are ready to make that shift.  Don’t let such individuals prevent you from making the shift from dependence on the world reflecting your worth to knowing that only you can gauge your true worth in this world.

You came here with so much love and light within you.  No matter what has hidden these facts from you, trust that you can always uncover the truth beneath the lies others and even circumstance in the world have lead you to believe about you.  You are weak and powerless only to the extent you give permission for this to be so by making yourself the victim of words and actions of others.  Things may happen to you and unpleasant things at that.  But YOU get to decide how you will be accountable for your actions in the very next breath and step and every breath and step counts.  I suggest to you that you do not waste time or energy in blame, don’t waste it with victimizing thoughts and don’t sell yourself short by believing anyone but you has the power to define you.  You are no less than a walking, living and breathing miracle.  Your presence here at this time is so very valuable.  Stand up in your own light always and live like you mean it, love like there is no tomorrow and take every step knowing that you matter.  In love and infinite light may courage and conviction to shift and return to your own truth become your focus in your tougher moments.  You will succeed.  May your God/Goddess presence be felt within you in all the steps you take in your lives always.

© 2013 Jaie Hart (photo and words)

Near Death Experience (Revisited)

SoulfireI’ve covered my near death experience (NDE) story in another blog post so won’t go into full detail here.  I was standing outside in the hot sun yesterday taking a much needed break from work. Suddenly, thoughts of the void from my NDE floated into my consciousness like the big white puffy clouds overhead floating across a sea of cerulean blue.  My thoughts took me back to the moments just before it happened, as these events occurred over fourteen years ago. This is what transpired. I was losing physical consciousness and knew it and as the physical world disappeared, I found myself quite conscious in this dark vast expanse I refer to as “the void.”  As I think about it now, it really did feel like I had been sitting in a darkened movie theater and the last frame of film had played. Then the theater suddenly just went dark.  A thought then occurred to me and I asked myself “Am I still in the void and the projector just came back on?”

I understood then and clearly know now that “the void” was not truly a void at all as we might define it.  My perception was that it lacked light but it most definitely did not lack presence.  There was a presence there with me I know because I could feel it.  It’s hard to describe that feeling.  It’s almost like that feeling you sometimes get when you walk into an empty room but you know it isn’t empty because you can feel the electromagnetic field of another human being in it even if you can’t see them.  Eventually they either pop out or otherwise make their appearance known and your normal physical senses take hold.  Then sight, sound, etc. kick in and you soon forget about what you “felt.”

When in the void, I “felt” everything.  All other physical senses had been denied me because I was no longer in my body.  I knew somehow I was still attached to it in some way but that attachment had not yet been severed.  But then again, was I attached at all?  What can I say that I know of this situation without coloring it with something I have somewhere read about to describe it?  First of all, I’d have to go back to both physical sensation disconnect and pure conscious feeling reconnect.  That is what it felt like.  When pure consciousness was connected and the physical perceptions were disconnected everything was different.  Before I had too much time to think about what happened, where I was and the fact that a part of who I had been was no longer with me, a different and much less exciting than life projection began. This materialized as I reviewed my own memories of the life I had lived up to that point.  I experienced them in my mind’s eye and I felt so much a part of every scene. I couldn’t see all that well but again, I was not used to the senses being engaged in that moment.  And it was that moment that engaged senses that never went away not even after I returned to full physical consciousness within mere minutes after my physical heart stopped beating.

As I stood there in the baking sunlight of a hot sunny day I considered the thought of existing in a void. Right then at that moment, I considered the possibility that I was truly only participating in a hologram that today I know as my own life. I was a bit disappointed by this thought.  I did not want to exist in a void where I had no physical sensations and only feeling. And yet at the same time, I was grateful and infinitely so for the other senses that had come to life from my brief visit to the void.  I could hear things, feel things, see things differently and I knew things through “felt” or “down-load” types of exchanges.  As I think back, I remember the presence that was with me but seemed both separate and a part of me who prompted me without words to consider whether or not I was ready to move on from this life or return to it.  I was left for what seemed like a very long string of minutes (30-45 minutes or so it seemed) just to decide if I wanted to move on or go back.  I did very much sense with all of my consciousness that I indeed had a choice and my ultimate choice would come to fruition.

I thought I had made up my mind to leave the physical frame when I projected those feelings to the presence there with me but what came back was a very clear “Are you sure response” in feeling. A completely different form of communication that is just so hard to explain unless you’ve experienced it.   Just then I realized that there were a few recent bits and pieces of my life memories I had not been earlier shown.  The memory of the birth of everyone of my children then hit me and it hit me in a heart I did not physically have in that moment…it hit me in the center of my soul and the memories evoked in me a great and all encompassing feeling of love, dutiful obligation in the extreme positive and the strongest desire ever to return and finish what I started for their sakes alone.  Within seconds of finishing that thought the void blinked out and I opened my eyes back in the physical with hospital staff buzzing about trying to wake me up.

My thoughts gently return to my question and my realization that goes yet unanswered after all of my effort to review my own memories.  Am I truly physically here having a physical experience but now with some added “senses” or “feelings” or am I truly somewhere in the void projecting my consciousness into this physical realm because I wanted to or needed to for others?  Does my sense of something in between ever stand a chance of being validated and does it really even matter?  I can’t answer these questions but still I wonder.  In particular, I wonder when I watch videos about “ghost hunting,” read about these types of experiences and then consider my own what may be termed as “paranormal experiences.”  I cannot help but wonder if our concept of disembodiment is really very off in some cases (I consider often having been followed by a shadow of light that comes with me where ever it is I move – a story for another time perhaps).

Moreover, my ego does not want to believe it dissolves and becomes part of a whole “presence” as it most certainly did during my void near death experience.  My ego had no control and I felt nothing but openness, pure consciousness, peace and love even though I was in a temporary space of complete darkness.  I was not afraid at all during my experience and I was quite comfortable so I wonder about my wondering about the void.  I’m not going to dive into the various theoretical physics and schematics here.  Theories abound and I find them interesting and its possible they do provide some answers but some things still just don’t quite fit.  I can’t reconcile my experience with anything other than other memories of other times and periods of crossing over.  Its strange to know that you know the answer to something and yet you cannot recall it…like the singer of a song or something else so familiar but you cannot touch it clearly with your memories to name it concretely.  Even that holds purpose and is perfect as is everything else in this frame, I think.

Clearly, I need more coffee and perhaps to reluctantly return to my homework.  My Colombian “Tarrazu” is calling my attention more than my memories just now.  But, a part of me wonders still about the void and projector thought.  I am going to let it go for now and come back to it again when in a different frame.  Its a gorgeous morning and I’m going to go water some flowers in an effort to save them from the coming sweltering heat.  If you’ve got thoughts on void NDE’s, projection theories or other related ones, I’d love to hear them.  Please feel free to comment below.  Blessings of great love and light beautiful dreams.

(c) 2013 Jaie Hart (repost from http://www.dreamintim.blogspot.com)